Whether it is Internet Predators, Cyberbullying or Sexting, children’s lives are forever being changes by theses Internet / Technology based crimes. I am 44 years old. Computers were rarely something some Schools had quite yet. You could see an occasional terminal plugged into a phone couple like you would have seen on the movie “War Games”. They were just making the rounds. By the time PC’s were getting popular, though, Pedophiles and Perverts were already utilizing these tools…Always one step ahead of Law Enforcement. Now are children use them as one of the primary ways to communicate with their friends. They were just with their friends all day and what is the first thing they do when they get home Text or IM their friends 🙂
I have been seeing articles recently stating that maybe the media is making too big of a deal or maybe creating to much hysteria among parents about Internet Predators and other such Internet Crimes Against Children. I agree that shows like MSNBC’s “To Catch A Predator” or Local TV News stations wanting to take advantage of the hoopla definitely pushed it to the media limits. Although, I credit “To Catch A Predator” with getting me into advocacy for Safety Online for Children, I do agree that it was very crazy back then, due in part by the show. I still make a fairly big deal about Internet Predators though. I mean how can you not give it some due with children being raped and dying because it. A truly sad example and a loss to the world is the Kacie Woody story at this address: http://kaciewoody.homestead.com/Story.html One child is one child too many over something that truly can be prevented just by getting the information out there.
When you see the shows like “To Catch A Predator” which sort of made it more entertaining than educational, or when Local TV News broadcasts really hype up a predator story, and you take them with a grain of salt, it makes you think maybe there is not so much to worry about, when it comes to Internet Predators. I, for one though, believe there is still a decent risk. I have seen it first hand, when it comes to the Internet stings. When you have strictly Law Enforcement doing this task, as with the Pennsylvania Attorney’s General Child Predator Unit, with over 290 arrests with a 100% conviction rate since 2005, how can you not see a threat? That is just one Law Enforcement group. Then I have people come up to me and say it was a sting operation, there was no real child involved, and I say to them, What if there was??? or “Thank Goodness”. The Predator does not know that, they are thoroughly convinced that they are talking to a minor child. I know they believe that…They came to visit me for Pete’s sake.
OK the word Pedophile gets thrown around too much in these types of crimes. These guys that want to meet a 12, 13, 14 or 15 year old children are just down right perverts. I have been involved with these chats and can feel these guys typed words as they come across the screen. There have been times that I thought it was just so unbelievable that these adult men had such dark sexual fantasies about young kids. When these Predators are caught in these “Sting Operations” a child and family is being spared some very emotional and physical trauma. These Predators, while chatting with a child, may think that they are just fulfilling some twisted fantasy, but with the ones I have talked to, the thin line between Fantasy and Reality gets blurred and when they decide to put a “meet in real life” card on the table…There is almost no turning back. One guy that was arrested in my home town, traveled over 100 miles to meet, for sex, with what he thought was a 13 year old girl. This guy was big, and the girl he, was supposedly meeting, was so tiny and would not have been able to prevent this guy from taking advantage of her. It was all planned out and he was ready…He showed up and the only thing that was scarier than him was his plan. I know the details of the chat. This guy was determined and when he was caught he had a machete, rope and a permit to carry, but was not, a gun on him. If there would have been a real child, and she decided that he was not the one for her, then this could have ended very badly.
I just saw a riveting movie recently call Trust_. Mellenium Entertainment and David Schimmer and all those involved with this film did a fantastic job of bringing this topic to the forefront. I believe there will be those who will say this is just another way to raise the hysteria level, but this movie does a very tasteful job of letting us know how so many are effected by this crime. The acting and directing of this movie really sheds a light on this topic and it does it so well. I have to give Liana Liberato such Kudos for her performance in this film…She ripped my heart out when she told her father that she hated him in the film. As a father of a 7 year old daughter, it certainly made me think about the days ahead and how I want to make sure I prepare myself for the Technology that is coming. You can visit the movie’s site at: http://www.trustmovie2011.com/ I highly recommend this movie to parents. Please know what your children are doing online.
Then there are the true believers that this is not a real crime that say that a child would never talk that way with an adult man to let a conversation turn so sexual and allow an adult man to enter her life. That is so not true…walk downtown of any town or city. Look at the kids pushing their baby carriages and tell me kids don’t have these sexual thoughts. Now toss in there a child that has a low self esteem, many do in middle and Jr. high, and are lonely with no one that understands them and you have a combination for a child to be groomed by a Predator to the point of her being putty in his hands.
When kids could be raped or killed by these monsters, I don’t think there is too much hype out there. Protecting your children is a parent’s responsibility. Law Enforcement is there to help, but usually after the crime has been committed. The parent or guardian has the initial responsibility to give their children a good foundation of right and wrong and then to help their children understand that they can come to them with problems and not be ridiculed or punished for coming to them. I have run into parents that are concerned about this situation that take punishment a bit to far, which is what the child fears more than the possible consequences of their actions on the Net. I just had a parent come to me, whose child had a friend on her friends list that she did not know and it was a boy. She ended out banning the child from the Internet for like 3 months. You might as well cut a child’s hands off, if you are going to do that. You will never get the communication we should all desire with our children with those types of threats looming. That was a bit of an over reaction on the Mom’s part. You have to know that children were raised on this technology and they do not fair well without it.
I know there are so many parents that are intimidated by today’s technology. When I talk to children at a school and ask them if they know more about computers / the Net than there parents I always get all hands in the air. You know what, I don’t doubt that. When I talk to parents I try to get them to understand that they are their child’s first line of defense against any Internet Crimes Against Children. A parent that can talk to their child and understands the technology, even just a little, as long as they are not scared of it, will go so far in protecting their children from Internet Predators, Sexting or Cyberbullying. Will a child make mistakes? of course, but as long as a parent does not over react the whole thing can go much smoother.
I know I spent a great deal of time on Internet Predators, but that really seems like the only crime that people are trying to shove under the rug, as if it is not that big of a deal. Kids have been raped and killed by these Predators. All I am asking for, is for the crime to be taken seriously enough for parents to talk to their children about it, and to know the signs that a child may be doing inappropriate things online.
Now onto Sexting and CyberBullying…Both of these issues can also lead to the premature death of a child. The “Sticks and Stones” approach is just not advised here at all. What this takes is a parent who is understanding and can listen. Only a few years ago, a young girl named Jessie Logan took her own life because of a Sexting and then Cyberbullying incident. Here is a link to her story: http://aftab.com/index.php?page=jessie-logan-s-story So why not take these technology crimes seriously. There are many more examples of how life threatening Sexting and Cyberbullying can be. Law Enforcement and Government is having a hard time keeping up with these technology crimes. I personally think it is because it has to deal with children and no one wants to jump into the arena of having Government raising children. I for one agree, but there has to be punishment of some sort by Law Enforcement. Parents have to understand that they have to be held accountable for their children’s actions. The children have to understand that there is consequences to their actions. Not only do they have the embarrassment of the crimes, but they also have the punishment. Children need to think before they post. In many cases it can’t be taken back and it could be around for life. I believe a child is going to get hit with a double whammy when they are caught sexting. Right after the sexting incident, then they are in trouble with their peers, in the form of Cyberbullying, as in the case of Allyson Pereira, who I consider a survivor. Here is her story, which I am happy that she alive and here to tell: http://kiwicommons.com/2011/08/sexting-gone-wrong-allyson-peireira-tells-kiwi-her-story/ Check out the other two links on this page that are titled “A Thin Line” and “Sexting in America”. This story is nothing new in a teen’s life during their middle, junior and high school years. Children are going to make mistakes like this, but I don’t feel we should make that mistake any worse by labeling a child a “Sex Offender” or the like. I am for serious community service with counseling and have them tell their stories to others so they will not suffer the same ordeal.
People don’t get up in front of your children and talk about these things because it is fun to do. I have been in front of them and also setting in the back of a room while the kids are ignoring or making fun of the presenter. It is important though that kids hear about these crimes. Yes, both Sexting and CyberBullying can be and in some States are crimes. I have pointed out how these crimes can also kill…There is all too much evidence of that. What this takes is a parent or guardian who is understanding and can listen. That is one of the best tools with these issues, is an adult who can listen. Be a parent that can tell when their child is a bit off….Homework / School work dropping off….Not wanting to hang out with their friends, and there is more to watch out for. I know we are all busy these days. I have a daughter and both my wife and I work. It is not easy by a long shot…I admit I have to work on my parenting skills much more before I am ready to take on tween and teen age years. We can do it though. I am not exaggeration when I say our children’s lives may depend on it.
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